17

It has been an incredibly difficult, challenging and emotionally draining two months. This post has been rewritten at least 100 times and I really wasn't sure if I wanted to post it.

The middle of January I figured out that I was pregnant, and I say figured out because I was already 11 weeks along! Both Rob and I had noticed over Christmas that my belly had gotten bigger but we had a good laugh about putting on weight and being out of shape. It's not uncommon for me to miss a random period here or there so that didn't set of any alarm bells either. I had started to become quite winded when walking both kids across the field to school but I did mention that I am terribly out of shape at the moment. It was Rob's comment one night about my constant snoring that had recently started and my random cravings for Chinese food at any given moment that had me second guessing my strong opinion of the fact I was not pregnant.

After breaking the news to Rob and both of us having a bit of a panic together, I contacted the midwives and was booked in with our previous midwife in 2 weeks time. Just enough time for Rob and I to wrap the idea of having a family of five!!!!

We met with Alina and were quickly issued all of the standard tests and ultrasound that are done at this stage. I got a bad feeling from the ultrasound tech during our visit and called the midwife right away. She called me back within the hour and confirmed that things did not look good. The baby had a sac of fluid that ran the length of it's back and would continue to grow. We were immediately referred to a genetics counsellor in the Credit Valley Hospital and met with her shortly after. After a few more tests with her she was able to confirm that the baby would most likely not survive the pregnancy and we had two decisions. Let nature take its course or end the pregnancy now.

We struggled. A lot.

Both of us felt most comfortable with waiting for mother nature, our midwife was sending me weekly for ultrasounds and bloodwork to keep an eye on mine and the baby's health. At one point the ultrasound technician here in Bolton asked why I had not started to take medication to abort the pregnancy and began to give me her opinion on what I should be doing. Let's just say that didn't go over so well with me so Rob and I continued our weekly checkups at the Orangeville Hospital.

Over the next few weeks nothing much happened, the sac continued to grow. Alina informed me that if I go past 18 weeks that I will have to deliver the baby no matter what the outcome. I did not want to go through that so at 17 weeks I had a D&C. They will be doing genetic testing to see if they can figure out was was the problem. Hopefully in a few weeks we will find out.

My Mom came down for a week or so (my memory is a bit blurry over this time frame) and was a great support for us both by looking after the kids and us. We had been doing our best to deal with the intense decisions and emotions that followed and it was incredibly draining for us. Rob was supportive of all decisions that I had made along this journey.

It has been two very emotional weeks of recovery and mourning our loss.
The sun is beginning to shine, weather is getting warmer and our two kids are so incredible. We are very blessed to have them.

Bring on the Spring

Owen was in serious need of a bigger bike and with the kinda/sorta nicer weather we have been getting he has been itching to get out and ride his bike. This weekend Rob popped out to get some supplies to continue work on Kate's room and he came back with a bike!!! We were all so excited.

It probably only took 3 assisted rides to the end of our court and Owen was off on his own. I was so amazed. You can hear how excited he was as well.

Naturally he wanted to do it all by himself. He just needs to practice his stopping and get used to the hand break and he will be good to go!
Naturally he did not have the patience to wait for a proper helmet fitting so he popped on his old one, do not worry, he also has a proper fitting helmet.

And in other news...sadly Sean has packed up and is currently on route to Calgary to start a new job. We have all really loved having Uncle Sean here and I know the kids will miss him a lot (as will we). Owen was really excited to show Uncle Sean his riding skills before he left.

Pic Update

We have all been suffering with colds for the past couple of weeks, thankfully we all seem to be on the tail end of it. I'm hoping that by the weekend we should be feeling better. Not much has been going on because of that but here are a few pics of the past week or so.

Kate is obsessed with hard boiled eggs,
both peeling and eating them!

Owen has been watching the Little Rascals
lately and wanted his hair like Alfalfas

Speaking of hair, I got another cut and you can't
really tell from the pic but a lot was cut off
and I loooooooove it

This past weekend was beautiful out and Owen wanted to
ride his bike. Monday he was already geared up and
ready to go to school, I couldn't say no!! Looks
like a bigger bike is in the cards this spring

Kate was helping me vacuum yesterday

Followed by a tea break of course.
Thanks Oma for the tea set, she really loves it

A Mini Reno

We had a crazy thaw a few days ago, even
the bunnies were out enjoying it

The boys spent most of Sunday putting together
all the the new shelving for the new room
in the basement

Not quite finished but I now have a space to call my own and I am beyond
excited. This was a dark and crowded storage area in the basement
and we were able to get rid of so much old "stuff" that a sewing area
could now be. Rob tore up the old laminate, put in the new floor, put up
some new drywall, painted everything else white and installed
new led lighting in the room. Once its complete I will post again

Of course the wonderful thaw was quickly
followed by more snow, luckily these two
were very happy to help me shovel

Pic Update

The Christmas break was a busy one for us. Owen spent a week at my parents while Rob and I did some major cleaning/editing and continued with the renovations. We are still busy working away on home improvements so by the time the kids are in bed and we've spent a few hours working, I'm spent! 

Here are a few pics from the Christmas holidays. 

The boys admiring their work

Christmas morning. Both kids were incredibly
excited. Owen because he knew what was
going on and Kate was feeding off his
energy. It was awesome to watch.

Owen teaching Kate about the joy of
opening stockings

She was quick to understand the concept
of opening presents and was looking for more

Fun times

Kate got this placemat for Christmas and will
now go get it and put it on her table
if she wants to eat

Having fun with her reflection

After her nap one day she demanded that I pass her all har toys so
she could set them all up herself

Owen finally came back and Oma and
Grandpa stayed for a few days. Of course
Kate had to try out Owens new ninja costume

Luckily there were a few brought for her as well and
she wanted them all on at once

It was back to school finally and both
kids were happy with the fresh dump
of snow to play in

Pic Update

It has been a very busy month and it seems to be flying by. The kids are really excited for Christmas and we have been loving it. Every morning Owen and Kate look for the Elf to see where he has landed for the day, they both get so excited when he is found. 

Owen's reading skills have really taken off, he's so confident now and is randomly reading words where ever we go. He is given two books every Friday from school to read over the weekend and he is starting to read with no assistance consistently.

Kate is really chatty and with no surprise her word selection is mostly all foods! Egg, apple, cracker, cheese and bowl are just a few. 

Enough with the bragging of our sweet kids, here is a selection of pics over the past few weeks.

Beautiful fall colours in our front entrance

Kate was having fun with the camera

My Mom brought down a bunch of greens
and we made up this arrangement

Owen has been asking us to go for a walk
after dinner lately and it's been so
nice to get out and walk the neighbourhood

Owen and I finally got around to decorating
our tree

Kate got up from her nap and wanted in on the action

You know that when it's too quiet
something is always up. Well, Kate
found Owen's tablet and got herself comfortable

Owen thought it was pretty funny to dress up
and randomly scare Rob and I

So sweet

It finally snowed, and everyone was
so excited

Even Kate

She was loving playing around in it

Snack time cuddles

It was too snowy to take the stroller so it was time
to break out the wrap

She really has to be wherever he goes

Leanne bought some very cool pants for Kate and
of course she found the perfect accesories

After a solid 20 years the hot air popper
died. Rob was pretty choked up

I somehow managed to make cinnamon buns Friday morning
for Owen's teachers

After school drop off Kate helped me shovel
the driveway and this guy was plowing
our neighbourhood

Saturday morning I woke up to breakfast in bed. Owen had
done this all on his own, including the
candy cane heart

Pic Update

I came downstairs to find these two chilling
on the sofa one morning. So cute

Owen had wacky hair day at school
and he was really enjoying it

Kate is starting to only eat if she can
feed herself, making mealtimes a
bit messy!

 

Woke up Wednesday to both kids pretty
sick so a day at home was in order

My Mom came to visit for three days which all of us loved

It was the Santa Clause parade in town today, unfortunately Kate was
still really sick so Rob stayed home with her while Owen and I
met up with some friends

A highlight for sure, seeing this van

Even with a fever, runny nose and
goopy eyes this girl is smiley

I let her play in Owen's lego room
today and she loved it

Owen was pretty happy to have Kate join
in the fun